If the Patriots can bounce back, so can our kids

how kids learn from failure is really important. what do you say to your kids after a loss? How do you encourage them after failure ? we most need encouragement after a loss and failure. Encouragement- you can do it- is the most powerful motivator on the planet. We all need more encouragement. good parenting is all about encouragement, how to experience loss and keep going, no matter what.
Even Tom Brady has bad days.

A radio DJ is asking listeners this morning, “What was good about yesterday’s game?” even though the New England Patriots, our home team, lost yesterday.

Parents can use this kind of question after a child has competed and lost. Parents can use encouragement, one of my favorite ways to  nurture self-confidence and self-esteem and improve a parent-child relationship.

The root of encouragement is courage.

We most need courage after failure, when facing a new or difficult challenge, when we feel insecure. Parents often want to protect kids from failure. It’s much more valuable to encourage kids to be resilient by facing failure and learning from it.

What was true for the Patriots can also be true for your kids. Here are some post-competition statements parents can say to kids, by noticing effort and what was good.  “You didn’t give up until time ran out.” “You gave it your all.” “You showed a lot of teamwork.” “You made many good passes.” “You had some assists.” “Your time was faster.” “Your stroke/swing/stride looked stronger since last time.” “You and your team showed good sportsmanship.”

Post-competition questions are also useful to kid and the Patriots. “What would you do differently next time?” “What did you learn?” “Did you have fun?” “How do you feel?”

I guarantee that mentoring your child to fail and still maintain hope and courage is a hundred times better than an easy victory. We always learn more from failure than victory. When we finally achieve victory is it all the sweeter.

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