Money and kids
This flyer is posted every week at the Cup and Top Cafe in Florence, Mass. It's wonderful example that if children want to earn money they can get very creative and learn marketing skills, customer relations and initiative.
LOVE this poster from the bulletin board at the Cup and Top Cafe in Florence, Mass. [just west of Northampton, next to the famous Look Park that has a zoo and mini-railroad]. The Hilltown Parents sponsored me. What a fabulous friendly group. At least 25 moms and dads came out to hear about my favorite subject — CHORES! We covered everything, starting with the holy trinity of family meeting – family dinner & family chores. These three activities form a lifelong bond for a family. Topped off with encouragement and allowing the child to discover the rules of the world and make mistakes without shaming or blaming, it’s a pretty good guide for parents.
Of course there was plenty of discussion about how to handle money. I realized that when kids are eager to earn money, they manipulate parents into paying them to do chores. Once the kids have earned the money, the interest in pitching in disappears, and the kids will always expect to be paid for doing those tasks.
My philosophy: if the kids want me to pay them for working around the house, they’ll have to pay me.
This scene happened in our house.
Mom: Noah, time to empty the dishwasher before dinner!
Noah, age 8: Mom, would you pay me to empty the dishwasher?
Mom: Sure, Noah. I’ll pay you $3. But dinner is $5.
There are other problems with paying kids for chores. It teaches them you can use money to manipulate people. Money is THE lowest motivator to do ANYTHING. In fact, many research studies have proven that rewarding kids is the fastest way to insure they lose interest in a task.
In the famous magic marker study, the kids who were rewarded for drawing with magic markers quickly lost interest. Those in the control group kept using the markers and getting more creative.
Sadly, we live in a world structured around reward, punishment and praise. Changing paradigms is tough. It can be done at home.
And YES – doing housework yourself is always easier, faster and better. And YES – doing it all yourself makes you the house servant and denies your child a valuable opportunity to learn self-discipline and experience teamwork, connection to family and self-esteem.
The holy trinity of family meetings-dinner-chores plants deep roots that provide the foundation for a long-lasting and beautiful family tree.
Explore posts in the same categories: Alfred Adler, belonging, chores, conscious parenting, motivation, mutual respectTags: connection, parenting about
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April 6, 2011 at 7:05 am
Hi, Susan.
I love reading your sensible posts, and I hope many parents will take the time to read your down-to-earth, no nonsense advice in your book. It’s certainly something a parent needs to add to their library.
I mention you and your book in my column, Parent Forward: “Bribing a child may block basic values”. You can find it online in the March 20 Fitchburg Sentinel & Enterprise, under community/columnists/
Cheers!
Bon
April 22, 2011 at 8:44 am
Dear Susan,
That’s my 6 year old son up there who independently created his pet sitting service as a Mitzvah or “good deed” project, after our beloved dog of 13 years died recently. My son said, “Mommy, until the whole in your heart heals, can we foster or babysit pets?” His idea is to pet-sit to help us (since we miss having a furry friend in the house), help a family going away, and help the pet “not have to sit at home alone” and the service is for free or he would ask “a dollar for dogs and 50 cents for others” to give the money to Japan, specifically to help towards his friend Sage’s Shelterbox project. Meanwhile he is saving money in his piggybank to buy a puppy “on his own.”
April 22, 2011 at 10:09 am
That’s pretty impressive that he’s only 6 years old and already learned the arts of
1. marketing communication
2. selfless service
LOVE the sign, and the fact that he re-posts it faithfully every week. This commitment & self-discipline will serve him well in life
February 7, 2012 at 12:37 pm
Great article of yours regarding kids and chores.
Thought you might enjoy someones perspective that has been at this for awhile as well.
I am a Dad of 6 and a Certified Financial Planner. I know a few things about this topic and wanted my kids to “get it” about money as well.
Kids like tech these days. That is all there is to it. I created http://www.myjobchart.com to help teach my kids about money in a tech savvy way.
In just over a year there are 130,000 kids using the site. Please feel free to check it out and use it as a resource for your readers.
Keep up the good work.