What to do with Tammy tantrum?
Temper tantrums can be a nightmare, especially in public. Here are some suggestions to change your response and the child will eventually change their behavior.
Analyze what tantrums achieve for Timmy Temper and Tammy Tantrum. Do parents give in as a result of the tantrum? If they are effective, Timmy and Tammy will tantrum whether they’re at home or on vacation.
Timmy Temper and Tammy Tantrum love an audience because they enhance the performance.
Notice how you feel when Timmy’s temper flares. Does he object to a limit you’ve set? Notice if you give in or not. Set limits in advance and enforce them with kindness and firmness. Take this time for training at least a month before the trip. Plan to take a different response to a tantrum.
1. Treat the tantrum like a dead tennis ball. Ignore it or remove Tammy Tantrum from situation. If in public, take Tammy to the car or a restroom. This is called taking time for training.
If at home, give Tammy a choice: “Either quiet down or go to your room until you settle down.” If Tammy is pre-verbal, put her in a playpen. If Tammy doesn’t choose, make the decision for her and separate her.
Empower Timmy Temper with choices: either sit by the window or the middle of the back seat. You can have vanilla or chocolate ice cream. Go to bed and stay there or I will shut the door and keep it shut until you’re asleep. When Timmy has choices, he feels more in control.
Ensure you are giving Tammy sufficient positive attention at neutral times so she does not resort to temper tantrums to be noticed by you. Spend at least 10-20 minutes a day of slow, uninterrupted one-on-one time with Tammy with your iPhone and Crackberry turned off.
Use the same strategies during the vacation. Take time for training. Give Timmy Temper choices: either stop the tantrum or we will leave the situation and go back to the hotel room/boat cabin/rental car, no matter how inconvenient for the parent.
Giving in to the tantrum will only prove to Timmy Temper that tantrums are a good strategy worth repeating. Be kind & firm. Don’t let Timmy get over-tired and resort to a temper tantrum. Hire sitters or take frequent rests to respect the child’s schedule.
Parents can train themselves to respond differently to tantrums and make them history. Timmy Temper and Tammy Tantrum can be trained.
Explore posts in the same categories: Alfred Adler, give choices, Make good decisions, positive parenting, prepare, set boundaries, temper tantrumsTags: give choices, good parenting advice, helpful tips for parents, how to raise children, power struggle, respect the child, set boundaries, setting limits, take time for training, taking children out in public, temper tantrums, vacations
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April 29, 2010 at 2:59 am
This article is give very much info and very helpful. I hv my own tantrum kid–an ADHD boy. will try to apply the techniques and revert to you with the result
May 4, 2010 at 8:05 am
Leopold- have you USED the techniques yet? Remember, as the Jedi Master Yoda said, “Either DO or not. There is no TRY.” How old is the boy? The younger he is, the faster he will respond. When YOU change, he will respond differently.