Teen party gone awry
Imagine coming home from a dream vacation in Paris and finding flour in toilets, urine on beds, blood on the floor, holes punched through walls and ceilings, computers, jewelry and video games stolen — some $45,000 in damages.
Parents in East Bridgewater, Mass. faced this scenario in February.
Even worse, the teen who hosted the party told police the names of the uninvited guests, who responded on Facebook with cyber-bullying, mocking the destruction.
Situations like this give teens a bad reputation and incite fear in the hearts of parents of children of all ages.
The quote that really got me was this: “There are no consequences, and that’s why they keep doing what they’re doing.”
One of the ringleaders has a string of charges against him, but no criminal record. His parents have repeatedly bailed him so he can continue his rampage, including intimidating the host of the party who is now afraid to go to school or the prom.
The party host said he didn’t call police when the uninvited guests showed up because he feared getting beaten up.
My advice to parents is to “Prepare, don’t despair for the teenage years.”
What does prepare look like?
1. Start with having family meetings to divvy up chores. Cleaning toilets and picking up dog manure from the lawn teach a child self-discipline, humility and a work ethic.
2. Have family dinner at least three nights a week. This cuts in half the time between after school and bedtime for them to get into trouble. It is a touchstone to you and your values.
3. Don’t buy your child’s way out of every problem. If a youth is charged with larceny, shoplifting and malicious destruction of property, make him earn money to pay restitution. Do not let him pass go, do not give him $200 until he complies.
This party-turned-nightmare shows that buffering a young person from problems he creates, the behavior will escalate.
I volunteer in prisons and meet men and women sentenced as teenagers because they were caught up in the wrong crowd and made bad decisions as teenagers.
Parents can teach young people to make good decisions.
This entry was posted on March 25, 2010 at 7:53 am and is filed under Make good decisions. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.
Tags: anti-entitlement, childhood chores, chores teach responsibility, cyber-bullying, don't despair for teen years, family dinner, family meetings, making good decisions, parenting teenagers, prepare, prepare don't despair for teen years, teen parties, teen party out of control
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April 20, 2010 at 12:43 pm
Not sure I understand your point. What is the contradiction?
April 21, 2010 at 7:45 pm
You condemn gender inequalities, yet write that “this party-turned-nightmare shows that buffering a young person from problems !HE! creates, the behavior will escalate”.
Should this not be he/she?
April 24, 2010 at 5:29 am
At parties often it is a “he,” however, you’re right!
Sadly, there are many young women acting out-of-control at parties. Some have tragic endings, like the young woman who walked off and died in a swamp.
I volunteer in prisons and I see people who cannot be protected from their problems any more.
May 21, 2013 at 9:44 am
There are a few things we need to go over real quick. Because
if Mitt takes office, sooner or later, the zombies will come for all of us.
Along the various groups of survivors the doctor manages to outlive, he finds that the infection may have been
started by a food processing plant and an additive that is found in nearly
every food and beverage.